Friday, 8 May 2009

Kevin and Neil, a lopsided relationship


Kevin had always shown a tendency towards strong feelings and dramatic reactions. A new collar would be enough to create alarm, protest and flight; visitors would be welcomed extravagantly; cuddles would involve head butting and violent purring that could knock him off balance. He delighted in drinking water from odd places, had a yowl that could carry across oceans, and preferred ordinary cat food to the most exotic treats. He would not yield to sickness or disease. He had character, and many people who loved him.

Kevin’s long and peaceful old age ended in a sudden decline, as his kidneys failed and he swelled up rapidly with fluid. I had been fully prepared for his end – after all, he was very old, and had kidney disease; there would be no element of shock as there had been with Harry. But for those last few days, the continuing watchfulness over Kevin had held an added element of anxiety: who would help him out of this life when the time came? Both vets, Neil and Claire, who had known and cared for him during his latter years, had left the practice, and my experience of their replacements when taking Lottie and Millie for their respective procedures had not been reassuring.

Neil the vet had been a treasure, friendly, caring and gentle, and always willing to explain things to pet owners without treating them like infants or idiots. Alas, Kevin hated him. Over the years, Neil had looked after him, cleaning his gnarly old teeth, removing a long blade of grass stuck in his throat, diagnosing and medicating his hyperthyroidism, later operating on his parathyroid, and never complaining about the copious amounts of ginger fur Kevin deposited on his clean green tunic top, or taking the loud hostility too personally.

But Neil left the practice, and was replaced in Kevin's unremitting hatred by Claire, although she and Kevin should have bonded: Claire was also a treasure, friendly, caring and gentle, always willing to explain things to pet owners without treating them like infants or idiots, but with the added advantage of being ginger too. Claire never complained about the fur either, or, indeed, about the Lake of Wee. In true form, Kevin wasn’t keen on her either.

In time, Claire too left the practice, and the remaining vets had to be got used to; a rather uncharismatic locum, who examined Millie, pre-op, in a systematic but bored way, and a dauntingly brisk and businesslike senior vet, who micro-chipped Lottie as though she were an inanimate object, and who made me feel like a twit for worrying about Lottie's need to be coaxed to eat. Neither made me feel that they liked or were interested in cats, although with two healthy young things this wasn’t too worrying.

However, as Kevin's long and happy life drew to a close, I was alarmed to think about the 'who and how' elements of this final process of letting go and putting him to sleep. Not a bored locum, and certainly not a brisk and businesslike vet who gave the impression that clearing the waiting room was of prime importance.

We needed a Neil or a Claire, vets who understood the emotional elements of bringing a cherished pet to the surgery, and who threw in little additional extras, like touching noses with your cat, using silly pet names with them, or relating to owners as sensible adults.

And so I tracked Neil down in his new independent practice. We talked on the phone about the next stage of Kevin’s journey, and planned for the inevitable. After this conversation, I felt that a large part of my anxious burden had been lifted.

The next day, Kevin's condition worsening rapidly, the big decision was made, and, very gently and sensitively, Neil helped Kevin out of this life and into wherever it is that cats go next.

And Kevin? Well, he showed his feelings for vets to the last, with an outraged yowl - though thankfully not his scared squawk - when the preparatory moves were made. Kevin was never a cat for fickle emotions or mild responses. I will miss him, the old ginger drama queen, and I won’t be the only one.

6 comments:

Exmoorjane said...

Oh my, Kevin is the spitting image of my dear old cat, Foot. He disappeared one morning from my parents' house in Sussex and I never quite got over it. That gave me quite a turn.
Thank you SO much for your wonderful comment on my blog - loved it....
Janex

BumbleVee said...

I'm so glad you found Neil again... he sounds like a nice man and was definitely the right choice.

It will be several days of just not feeling like yourself at all.... try to get plenty of rest... maybe take some walks outside in the fresh air.... over the years I've said goodbye to many furry friends too ..it is never easy....my throat hurts just trying to write this and to send you hugs...

xxx Veronica

Charlotte said...

Kevin will certainly be missed by me and the HYP. I am so glad I got to see him before he went, those kisses and cuddles were very special. Goodbye old chap x x x

Rachel said...

Jane, it's hateful to lose a cat without knowing how, and so hard to come to terms with - for years after he disappeared, I had repetitive dreams of finding my half-wild hunter Jack sitting on a kitchen chair looking fit and well. Those dreams didn't stop till I knew he could not possibly have lived to be this old.

And Veronica, after a couple of days of doing very little, today is feeling easier, and the girls are calm. We move on, but have lovely memories.

Charlotte, I'm so glad you managed to see Kevin and that we got those lovely photos of you with him.

Everyone's care and kindness has been so deeply appreciated.

_lethe_ said...

I didn't learn until today of Kevin's passing. I am so sorry!

I am sure he has had great life with you.

Thursday said...

I am SO glad you found Neil. When the time came for Pixel to go, I wish, wish, wish I'd refused to let the irritating ninny who did the deed in to the house.

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