Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Squeaks of desperation

Oo-er! Look at this! It's a high-tech safety mouse!










The "high-tech mouse with microchip sound" was an instant hit. It emits rapid squeaking sounds that cause small cats' eyes to widen to saucer-dimensions, and it keeps these sounds going indefinitely.




The problem is trying to shut it up. The slightest movement sets it off; stillness should cause it to become silent. But it doesn't, except very, very occasionally. There are no external controls.

The cats love it; when it does stop, they pounce and get it going again.






  







The instructions are almost non-existent, but tell us sternly: Do not eat. Horrid thought; horrid train of thought, in fact, of a high-tech internal squeaking noise making slow progress through one's insides.....

When my nerves start to emit a high-pitched, high-tech microchip squeak of their own, the mouse gets put in the (cold) warming drawer of the oven, out of everyone's way, and I ignore the saucer-eyed row of small animals sitting beneath the drawer gazing pleadingly upward.

Sometimes I set it off again myself accidentally, although I'm learning how to creep smoothly, ninja-style, into the kitchen and place the thing reverentially in the warming drawer. It's in there now, blissfully silent.




I did think for a moment that when little cats were sleeping the sleep of the very tired hunter, I might creep reverentially out to the wheelie bin with their prey, but on second thoughts, I'll eviscerate it instead, and stuff it with wadding and catnip, unless the microchip proves manageable. If it doesn't, I can happily bin it - in another bin in another street.

At the moment, it is silent, and I might just leave it to sleep till Doomsday tomorrow.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I MUST get one...and then slope off to work. It still has to be less alarming than the "live pigeon in kitchen/hall" events we've had lately.

Jan

Charlotte said...

Ooo I wonder if Percy lad would like one of them. I can't wait to see the new brave Hamish, I will call over the next week, I have kitty treats x

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

This is a bit like the aftermath of Christmas when kindly given tambourines , trumpets and whistles mysteriously seem to disappear overnight . And loud battery powered toys seem to run down by the 29th .
You're showing remarkable fortitude ! Or have you just bought earplugs ?

BumbleVee said...

hahaaha ... the creeping ninja-style with it into the kitchen.... the image of that one just set me off out loud....

don't forget it's in there and turn on any ovens......

I was at a blog the other day where the woman had pried off the top of a little self propelled car and made a hamster topping for it...very cute... quite inventive I thought... she left a comment that she had downloaded a video of it...so I'm off to check that out..

liZZie said...

Lovely to see Hamish joining in; you've worked wonders with him and Scooter.

Linda said...

Rupert says he would be "So Not Amused!" but he does understand that some cats/humans do like to play!
It must have seemed like such a good idea to whoever helped Santa buy this!

Lesley said...

Noooo, you can't kill the wee mouse; those pics are fantastic! They clearly love it so.

I wonder what the dogs would make of it? They like it when we blow them bubbles or play with a little remote controlled helicopter. Yes - we are children...

Lesley x

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