For those of you who are asking, or who can't be bothered to search the archives in which no post has a sensible clue-giving title, here's a quick round up of the life-changing plan to move:
Reasons:
- Retired now, want a garden and trees and views that aren't all red brick
- Lovely Son down South, won't come back here
- Cold up North, want somewhere warmer
- Don't belong here anyway
- Don't like it here, either, except for Jesmond Dene
- House a bit big for me on my own, an an invitation to hoard clutter
- Escape from student noise and student landlords' ruining of lovely old houses
Looking for:
- Somewhere light and airy, with garden and views, incl. of trees
- Safe for cats
- Not too isolated (don't want to lie dead behind door for 3 weeks being eaten by the cats before anyone misses me) but not in a town
- Easy to go walking without having to put vomitty little dog in car first
Fearing:
- Getting it wrong and having to do it again - but will never move back North again
- Friends not visiting much
- Being a resented incomer somewhere for the next 20 years, stared at suspiciously in the Post Office
- Old friends feeling hurt and miserable because I've gone - and taken the dog with me
- Not losing my old friends who have always hated the idea of my moving
- Making new friends and getting to know and be part of a new community
- Creating a lovely tranquil home without all the memories and struggle of years already in it
- Becoming a decent gardener (maybe doing a course?)
- Finding that I've done the right thing
- Having cats who thrive and are happy in a greener setting (no wishes for the dog - she's just happy with me)
Believing:
- I can get through this selling process unscathed and still relatively sane
- I will find the right place for me, even if it isn't the one I'm currently in love with
- I won't end up destitute and lonely
- I can build a new network of loving, loyal friends like the one I have here
- My old loving, loyal friends will see that it was right for me and forgive me for leaving them
- That I will have a good new life and be as happy as these two in the proverbial....
Oh, and the photos? No relevance to the text; just liked them!
24 comments:
You're so sure so I think that means that you must be right.
You would regret it if you didn't.
I too would like to live in a view.
I'm sure they wouldn't really eat you.
Ye gods, you are freaking out about all this too much! It will be fine and fun......you will still have all your blog pals, who seem to be many and loving! Most of us would love to visit too! The dog will help to make friends...I have met 2 very close pals and many lesser acquaintances since I had my dog 8 years ago. Easy to chat to other dog walkers in passing. Hope this doesn't sound "bossy". Just one word of warning though...a friend of mine lost several cats on a country lane in Norfolk that only had a few cars a day, they had been fine on this busy Station Rd that rarely has a break in traffic! Good luck with the sale . X
Wow so many reasons, and so much thinking!
I'm completely distracted by those photos of somewhere (probably in Tibet!!) which are actually making me feel quite ill looking at the heights!!
I don't think the cats would eat you...
Dan
-x-
A lovely, insightful post. It sounds like you are making completely the right decision... a hard decision, but the right one nontheless. And all your real friends will back you. Where are you looking to move to by the way?
You have thought this through beautifully. I hope it all happens just the way you would like.
It's certainly warm and prettily green down here on the South Coast! Always room for one more...
Here's my unsolicited twopenny worth... cross off all the worries about other people and in particular "friends".... you absolutely must do this for you.... If they truly are your friends they will make a point of visiting you and you them. If not...they never were truly friends. More like acquaintances. Cheeky to say I know..but, that's me. Blunt and tactless. Sorry. And...how often do they really visit you here? now? ...
Why continue to be unhappy for your friends? ... I'm sure friends want to see you happy even if you are further along than a few doors down....
think of the fun you'll have writing letters to them and expecting mail in your little post box... a reason to go to the Post Office ...and make a few friends there....
I can't wait to see what wonderful little place you find ...and I'm convinced you absolutely will find one....
Destitute? naaah.... there's always dish washing at some restaurant..where we could also eat for free.... my Mom did it.... and lived happily doing it for a whole year before I even found out that she had absolutely no money at all!!! Then, her old age pension kicked in and she thought she died and went to heaven. From living on nought to being able to save money each month after having lived so frugally....
maybe somebody would like to adopt the cute little doggie...?
We did it and still live to tell the tale.
Jump in with both feet - too much introspection never did any good. Unless you plan to go somewhere up the a**e-end of 'Little Britain' I suspect that most of the natives are friendly.
I'd love you for a neighbour.
Re your pictures - unsolicited cod analysis coming up - Have you ever heard the expression 'Between a rock and a hard place'? Maybe that's where you feel you are just now. I think you will have a happy landing. Hang in there.
I don't think you are thinking too much - I am all for thinking, especially thinking as clear and careful as yours. I am sure you are doing the right thing. I think you will have a bit of bumpy year or so because these things are not instant makeover territory. But stick with it and it will be fine, it will be more than fine, it will be great. Wish you all the luck in the world.
Sounds like you've thought this through very well. I like your structured approach! And I like the picture of the piggies very much.
I think that you've done the heart stopping, gut wrenching tricky bit - THE DECISION - it's all good from here.
Happily, we can't compare alternative realities - it would drive us all mad! - so we can't do the 'if I'd have done this, then I can see that it would have worked out better than that', we can just say 'this feels like the thing to do for me, and I can justify it to me, and that's all that matters.'
I'm another who is behind you all the way - I've not been here long (a friend recommended the Cat's blog & here I am with you!) but I am full of admiration for your verve. (Actually, is that a real word? Looks all wrong now I've written it down!)
If you feel this is right , then it is .
You'll still be in touch with your friends and you'll make new ones . Let's face it , anyone who's willing to rush to A&E with people bleeding all over the car upholstery is always going to be popular ( not that Somerset is all Straw Dogs , or anything ).
Just one thing , I wouldn't want you to build your hopes up ..... you might not need the crampons .
OK, that helps. Just go for it. You'll be fine. If you feel a bit overwhelmed, you could always ask for help from Phil and Kirstie and share your relocating experience with the nation. Yes? I'd watch that episode.
It's a good list and I appreciate the recap.
I LOVE moving and fresh starts; I've moved a lot, and in my experience you always keep the true friends. (Hey; maybe they will follow you south.) Good luck. xx
It can be done, the move, and survived well enough. (I did it at age 55.) Everyone deserves a piece of earth for a decent garden. You are free of having to "pull the plow" (she says enviously...) and possibilities are wonderful things, at any age. Possibilities for change and new vistas, new friends, just plain newness. It's good for the soul.
Sounds well thought out indeed. You'll be ok. xxoo
Deep breaths, you can do this, you will do this and it will be good.
Certainly not putting "vomity dog in car" sounds like an excellent aim.
I don't think the cats would eat me if I were lying dead. They like their food chopped up. Then again...there's no cat flap!
That looks like a jolly carefully thought out list to me. I see the 'for's as carrying more weight because they are what's in your heart and your gut.
I predict that your beautiful house will be snapped up, you will find somewhere that makes your heart sigh 'home' when you walk in, and you will make many good friends wherever you choose to settle. Sounds like your friends in the north are feeling sad about 'losing' you, tempered with a bit of worry that you will be OK.
Just as an aside, at 69 years old my disabled mum decided it was now or never, and left her city flat and all her neighbours and friends to move to a beautiful caravan site in a part of the country she'd never been to ('I just liked the look of it', were her words). She made friends almost immediately and is as happy as a clam, two years on, so there is hope for us all.
Thanks for keeping us posted, we are all rooting for you.
Jules
You will have all of us to support you while you make non-blog friends, which we know you will.
Just do it! Best thing we ever did was get out of the city and move to where we wanted ( country) it's scary but so so so worth battling through.
Seven years ago when I retired we moved from California to Georgia a move of more than 2500 miles and before we did it we had nearly all the worries that you had. Now 7 years on all I can say is we've never been happier.
It's obviously something that you've wanted for a long time,so just go for it, as my late father-in-law used to say "you're a long time dead".
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