Location, location, location, or Sod It, That's Near Enough

Reading all the comments from the last post, it's a comfort to me to find that the Mad Boffins at the Live Feed laboratory have the same problems with geography as I do. Although I doubt if even my wilder guesses at your nearest-city whereabouts would be wrong by 1000 miles.

Thank you for humouring me with this new toy, and for introducing yourselves. I'm childishly thrilled.

Today, as it was gloomy and wet, and the dog wouldn't go anywhere, I sat chained to my PC and did some sorting out - Disk Clean Up first, followed by Defragmenting. Are you impressed? Good. I'm impressed myself, even though I was only following some Googled guidance after I typed in "Virtual memory problems". I don't understand a word of it, really.

The cats had a visitor yesterday, Anne the nice home visitor lady who vets would-be rescuers from the charity that placed these two with me. She came bearing gifts for them, a crinkly play tunnel and a bag of catnip. Now, they have their own crinkly play tunnel and lots of catnip already, and had declared their utter boredom with both some time ago.

But for Anne, they turned on all their charm and winsomeness, scooted in and out of the new tunnel, chased toys through it, rolled extravagantly in the catnip and staggered about dazed in drugged-up bliss, and acted as though they had never been given such a treat in their poor miserable lives before now. She was utterly charmed. Then, when she wasn't looking, they burgled her handbag, which she had left in the hall, and which had held the catnip. They rolled on her specs, dragged pens and other items out, and rather showed themselves to be the degenerate drug fiends that they really are. When I went to clear away the tea tray, I noticed that someone had drunk all the milk out of the jug while I had been letting Anne out of the house.

After she left, they I told them they had to sit and write out 100 lines: It is neither funny nor clever to be stoned and show off in front of humans. But they couldn't do it; first they had the munchies, and then they wanted to loll on the sofa and watch wildlife programmes on tv, gazing mesmerised at the hunting lions. Crinkly play tunnel? No thanks, man; those catnip drops would be good, though....