Saturday, 29 August 2009

It's dirty work, but...

...someone's got to do it. This is how you prevent your lovingly-constructed panel from falling in rainbow shards at your feet should you slam the front door. Cement and chalk. Foundation and powder for glass.


First stir the black gloop till smooth and all the linseed oil is amalgamated.



Then with the dog's toothbrush (only kidding, dog!) force it under the lead. Make sure you don't leave any gaps; make sure you work at an angle to the lead, or you'll simply pull it all back out again. Realise why you were allowed to do this bit of the job.



Keep going. Be thankful you decided against starting this at nine o'clock last night, but wish you'd thought of bringing a cup of tea up to the attic with you.


It's hard to get a gloopy latex glove off in order to take a photo. The cats and the dog are queuing outside the attic door, making faint disgruntled noises; they can't bear being locked out. But you just know what would happen: this black cement would be jumped on, then trodden round the house and onto the beds.


Leave it to dry a little while you straighten your back, drink tea, walk the dog. The walk doesn't take long because you are ambushed at the end of the street by Millie, and don't want her following you anywhere with traffic. So we all trot up and down the back lane, followed by Lottie on the yard walls, her tail held aloft like a magnificent plume. Somehow both cats consider this a great treat, walking the dog with me.



Back to the cement. Sprinkle with chalk, which will absorb the excess oil. Panic a little at this stage, worry that you've done this wrong, and look up the instructions, both in a book and online. They contradict each other. Too late now, anyway.
It's been so long since I did this, and I've sort of lost my nerve. Tricia is in Carlisle and not due back till this evening.

Buck up, you wimp; what's the worst that could happen? She could only kill you.
Just be glad that she only let you do the back of the panel.


Using high-tech tools, a sawn-off scrubbing brush and a plastic fid, clean up your glass. Wait for Tricia to come home and tell you that YOU'VE RUINED IT!!!


4 comments:

Susan said...

tres cool ! Oliver was locked up while my new chocolate floors were being installed (mostly because the Wheaton Terrier Jigs was here too - she's not a fan of cats). It nearly killed Oliver to not be a part of the goings on so I can just imagine your gang waiting impatiently on the other side of the door. The window looks amazing and I can picture Lottie (with plumed tail) & Millie walking with you and "the dog".

Don't forget we need a detailed report avec photos of vacation to Mull perhaps an itinerary - I do love an itinerary - did you see the movie "The Darjeeling Limited" funny and very beautiful.

xo les Gang

mountainear said...

It's looking brilliant - I only wish we had a fanlight crying out for a leaded panel.

I'm sure you've done all the right things.

Isabelle said...

Goodness, I never knew about this bit. I've always vaguely contemplated doing a bit of stained glassery but if you have to do that messy process I don't think I'll bother. I don't like messy.

liZZie said...

Very well done, really. I also use an old credit card to shove cement into the gaps and it's good for scraping off gloop off the glass, and also scrunched up newspaper. My favourite tool is a fid as well, however, although I also know this marvelous plastic prehistoric animal bone looking thingy as a fid I am told it isn't, it's a Supa Nova tool? A fid is something else? No, we're united in our love of fids, fids they are and always shall be.

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