Wednesday 5 May 2010

Birthday party. No cats.

The dog says she's sorry, but she loved her cake so much that she forgot to share it with anyone. She hopes you won't be too upset. She thought you'd like the recipe, as it's a prizewinner. She's having a post-party nap now.

Tiny Cake for Tiny Dog (aged 10)

  • 1 tiny tin of posh cat food in jelly (in this case, sardine and mackerel for a little dog who loves fish)
  • I slice Gouda cheese
  • milk drops (for cats)
  • catnip drops (also for cats)
  • Shut cats out of kitchen to avoid being mobbed during cake-making
  • Ignore pitiful cries from other side of door
  • Turn jellied cat food out of tin onto small plate
  • Avoid stepping on anxiously-hovering, drooling dog 
  • Cut strips of Gouda cheese to size; wrap round smelly appetising fish and jelly cake
  • Apologise to dog for stepping on her
  • Decorate cake with milk and catnip drops, feeling a bit silly
  • Light candle to allow dog time to appreciate your singing of 'Happy Birthday'
  • Remove candle, break cake up with fork, and serve
  • 53 seconds later, remove empty, well-polished plate 
  • Spend next ten minutes explaining to the cats why they were locked out so that the dog wouldn't be outnumbered, bullied and robbed of her birthday cake
  • Compensate cats with cheese, catnip and a little guilt
  • Avoid the dog's breath for the rest of the evening


Jinksy said...

Full marks for creativity, patience and a soft heart! :)

judy in ky said...

Sweet little birthday cake! Lucky Tosca.

judy in ky said...

Sweet little birthday cake! Lucky Tosca.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

So glad you shared this . I know a Rottweiler whose birthday is looming . Do you think it would be possible to multiply this recipe by twelve ?
Sonata .

Pam said...

So that's what one does in retirement. It sounds truly revolting. But in a lovely way of course. Happy Birthday Tosca. (I hope you sang with the effect of an operatic chorus?)

Lucille said...

You are completely bonkers and I am wiping the tears from my face.
I don't know of a funnier blog and would give you an award if I knew how to.

love those cupcakes said...

The cake looks great. Reminds me of the time I invited my friends (I was about 8 years old at the time) to our dog's birthday party. One boy turned up with a present of a box of chocolates. Only problem was, we didn't actually have a dog.

Fran Hill said...

I love this. Your ingredients list is so short, and I thought, oh, that won't take long to put together. And then .....

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to little Tosca, who loves fish! My husband has been having liquid fish oil for his heart, and his breath in consequece isn't the best either.Does Tosca like minty chews? (I know about capsules, but presently we have a BIG bottle to get through *sigh*).Lovely post!!

BumbleVee said...

Awwww... you're really such a softie.... and she loves you... so do I.... I think it's great what you do for your little furry gang....I'm glad that she had it all to herself and was ganged up on by the felines....

the veg artist said...

In my next life I would like to be a pet in your care. What could be nicer?

Rattling On said...

Yum yum, I think! Glad Tosca liked it.

Lynda (Granny K) said...

Fishy bref, sounds divine! yum! Perhaps that's why people eat parsley with fish? - Just a thought.

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