Wednesday 19 May 2010

An uphill struggle



It's so hard getting ready to move house.....

I veer wildly between determination, despair, productiveness, and those terrible days where I seem to put a lot of effort in but don't get anywhere.

I get tired, and find I'm just moving things around, creating more disorder, rather than clearing and sorting. I put things down and can't find them again - it took over half an hour yesterday to find where I'd left the paint trays - on top of the boiler, as it happens; I'd been standing on a stepladder in the cupboard at the time - and I'm up and down the stairs (35 of them!) far more times than is necessary, distracted and disorganised, constantly forgetting what I've gone up/down for.


I have moments of profound self-pity about having to do this all on my own, until I remember that all my friends and my son are either at work or have busy lives of their own, and that their view of me is of someone with the great luxury of time on her hands, with nothing better to do than sort the detritus of years.... Quite true.

There are some successes - 10 bags of shredded paper and a full-to-bursting recycling bin this week, a car boot full of intended charity-shop items, an attic which is slowly taking shape, turning into a neatly-packed and stacked box-room rather than a Room of Shame. But I am reminded at every turn that being a hoarder brings its own punishment....

And all this activity is only to get the house ready for valuation! How put-upon shall I feel when there are viewings? The people across the road were beside themselves after a weekend of viewings, and they've moved house countless times. I'm dreading it.


But although it's hard, it's not Too Hard. I have no intention of giving up. The yard (still waiting for its own spruce-up) might be trying its hardest, but it's not the garden I have promised myself and the team. It's the dream of a real garden and a quiet road that drives me on; the house clearing is just one of the steps on the road to realising that dream.

Now, where did I leave the ladders..... oh, and my specs..... and the screwdriver....

18 comments:

judy in ky said...

I understand the things you are feeling, I often feel them myself. Look at all you are accomplishing, though. Your list of successes is impressive. Give yourself a little break and feel better.

Susan said...

A favourite motivational truism that I know, from much experience to be absolutely true is

action = motivation = more action

I used to wait for inspiration and/or motivation to bonk me on the head or to tap me with it's magical wand ... and of course nothing ever happened except continued uninspired nothingness. Now I try and make myself begin ... even if it's some teeny, tiny part of the whole daunting task. And I especially apply this rule to my design work. Oh how I used to panic, sitting at my desk steam coming out of my ears, the gears in my head a grinding trying to think of the best idea before I put pencil to tracing paper. Now I just begin drawing and eventually something good comes out and then almost always something even better.

Keep on dreaming the dream. Hold that vision of a proper yard and garden on a quiet road crystal clear in your mind. Look what I dreamed up ? Honestly I pinch myself daily that I now have the love & life I dreamed of for years. It's actually bigger & better than my dreams. Rock On !! Your back garden looks amazing. Love to the team as well xo Susan & les Gang

the veg artist said...

It will all be worth it when you have finally moved, and we will be here cheering you on. But if I was viewing your home just as it is now, I would think it is fabulous. Stop thinking that everyone will be critical - we all have our own tastes anyway, so no matter how you try, it is unlikely to be as they would do it.

I refused to put a new kitchen in my last house, just painted everything a cheery colour. I (thank goodness) have a central heating engineer of very long standing who kept the ancient boiler going, (as he does in this house) as I refused to put in a new one based only on government efficiency 'savings', and within a week of moving in, the new owners had ripped everything out and put in units etc that I would never have chosen in a month of Sundays.

I have moved quite a lot, and believe in getting buildings sound and 'working well' but above that, everything comes down to taste.

There now, after reading all that, have a nice cup of tea!!!

Hazel said...

Chin up, Rachael! Although making decisions about 'stuff' is tiring indeed, doesn't it feel like you've done a good job when it's done? Very liberating, in fact.

I'm sure that you'll be applying the 'have I used/looked at/worn/appreciated this within the last 12 months?' rule of thumb whilst clearing - but set yourself a fixed couple of boxes for 'heirlooms' that you just like to know that you have.

I have as many stairs as you, and every time I get to the attic room & can't remember why I'm there (until I've returned downstairs!) I think how much good all those stairs are for toning the bottom!

PS Wear old apron with big pocket so you don't put things down 'safely' and then can't find them again...

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Breathe ! Being a perfectionist is exhausting ..... not that I'd know first-hand , I hasten to add .
But it looks as though you're striding forward !
It's all looking very desirable already and people will love it .

Lucille said...

I think your house is going to fly off the shelf - it's obviously very well cared for. And that yard already looks tres chic. And now I must go and attend to a newly dripping overflow.

Lesley said...

I'm sure you are achieving way more than you give yourself credit for. Remember, no-one does what they say they going to do in the time available!

Keep it up chuck.

Lesley x

Dan said...

Your house and garden looks really wonderful, and I fully sympathise with the preparations you have to make in order to sell.
Don't think I'm quite as motivated and disciplined as you!
Dan
-x-

Sue said...

Chin up Rachel we are all here willing you on. We have been trying to move for the past 15 years ( that doesn't sound very encouraging does it ) life and family kept getting in the way but it looks like next year we will finally be able to do it, so don't ever give up.

Lynda (Granny K) said...

I am full of admiration! You are moving mountains (literally!) :o) All this dashing up and down stairs will stand you in good stead once you are in 'cream tea' country! Your house looks lovely and i'm sure it will sell very quickly.

Von said...

Did you see the Miniscule with snails? You could do with some of that! Good luck!

Deborah said...

You have all my sympathy, Rachel. I still have nightmares about the moves I have made - it's the most stressful thing I've done bar...none, actually.

This doesn't really make you feel any better, I'm sure, but keeping your eye on the prize will help. And once it's all over, you'll be SO glad you got rid of all that stuff. Keep your chin up!

lovethosecupcakes said...

I read somewhere that moving house is only slightly less stressful than divorce and only slightly more stressful than shopping in IKEA. Only advice I can give is to have supplies of gin and tonic near to hand for those times when the stairs seem particularly steep.

mountainear said...

You're doing well - remember it doesn't all have to be done overnight. Feste lente (as the Romans might have said) Pace yourself woman! Speaking as someone who has horrid memories of lugging 60+ boxes of books downstairs and moving more stacks of vinyl for No 1 son both up and down stairs 3 times - I wish I'd heeded my own advice.

I'm sure your house will be snapped up when you get it on the market - I think the phrase is 'well-presented'. Looks fab. Have yard envy.

Marcheline said...

Everything is looking ab-fab, darling. You can do this! And yes, the people who are lucky enough to snag this place are going to have ideas of their own, so listen to The Veg Artist and don't feel like you have to decorate everything to the nth degree... make sure everything is functional, and clean, and leave room for the new folks to make the place their own. The bones of the house look wonderful, and I'm sure it will sell well. Keep your eyes on the prize... your dream home to be! We're all pulling for you and can't wait to see what the future holds!

rachel said...

Oh, sniff.... gulp.... you are such lovely folk! Thank you for the encouragement just when it was needed.

I'm not doing any decorating unless it really needed to be done (old damp stains, cracked ceilings, and so on) and now I'm getting to the carpet-cleaning and general tidying stage. The upside of all this is to get some packing done while I'm at it, so that if it doesn't sell for ages, I'll be living in a lovely orderly house!

Annie (Lady M) x said...

The picture of your garden looks especially nice. A real courtydard haven. Where are you moving to?

Anonymous said...

Just checking in briefly - have been down to Devon for 3 days, and it all felt totally worth it. Wish I'd photographed the Topsham sunset for you. Seriously, I had forgotten quite how beautiful the area was.

Good luck with everything.

Janx

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