Up bright and early today. I would whizz through the chores, I thought, and get to B&Q before the Bank Holiday crowds.
Not many chores to whizz through - house still spotless and tidy after yesterday's viewing*. Dogs seen to, and I was off.
*Viewers: young couple with 5-week-old baby who was hungry and bawled loudly throughout their whistlestop tour. They had just sold their flat, and understood how much preparation goes into a viewing - young mum remarked on house being lovely and... wait for it... immaculate. Immaculate!! IMMACULATE!!! I have to keep saying it. Me with an immaculate house! Laugh, ye who know me well. But maybe she was still suffering from post-natal pottiness...
And then they rushed off to view another 4 houses in the vicinity, declining my offer of an immaculate room in which to feed bawling baby - they would feed and change him in the car - and I suspect that everything they view will merge retrospectively into one hideously-confusing mass with a sound track of grizzling/crying/howling small boy wanting his lunch.
Somehow, the house had remained immaculate for the rest of the day. Perhaps I have been taken over by an alien entity from Planet Housework.
Anyway, to B&Q - the nearest place that sells plants - for an Easter gift for a friend with an insatiable garden. I saw that my red oriental poppy beside the front path was bent on world domination, and now had six enormous blooms. Very attention-seeking plant, that one, spreads in a lively manner.
The Bank Holiday crowds had obviously had the same sensible idea as me, all arriving nice and early to avoid themselves. I bought a pink oriental poppy, reckoning that it would be such a thug that half my friend's yawning border would be filled up within weeks.
And then I came home, and saw that sometime after 9 a.m. all my poppies, plus a handful of the palest pink tulips, had been roughly snapped off and stolen.
Someone's mum is going to be disappointed when her surprise Easter bouquet from her
ASBO Boy canny lad has dropped most of its petals on the way. The tulips had been in flower for some time, and poppies don't like to be picked.
Still, the plant itself isn't deterred, but marches on....
My neighbour commiserated, and told me that she had overheard workers in the newly-refurbished park yesterday saying that they now had to compile a list of all the plants that have been stolen.
I suppose a few blooms from my tiny patch aren't too great a loss.