...that the sentence in the previous post about having your ear licked by a small dog being the best way to wake up etc. was intended as sarcasm. It SO isn't true. And the dog knows better than to try it on me, ever.
Don't even think about it, O snaffler of garbage found in the gutter.....
That's fine; close enough.
I'm one of those squeamish types who can't bear to be licked by dogs - in fact, the further away from dog-breath the better, in my book - and could spontaneously throw up if I see dogs being permitted to lick people on their mouths. Now I can just feel some of you bristling from afar at my insensitivity towards our loving canine companions and their deeply-instinctive behaviours, but, but.... oh yuk, I can't even think about it. Pause a moment while I retch.
And in case some of you think this is a reasonable attitude, I have to confess that I don't feel the same about cat licks, even though I'm aware that they too use their tongues as wash cloths. And how they like to keep their nether regions nicely spruced up.
Thankfully, my cats aren't given to much licking of humans - that would push scaredy-cats Scooter and Hamish into unimaginable degrees of courage - and anyway, warm sandpaper mingled with cat breath isn't my exfoliant product of choice.
They have other victims to lick instead, and they are ruthless about waking each other up to do so.
No need to wash me at all! Now I just need to impose some discipline on their waking up of humans routine....