Supplementing your diet: Millie writes for you

Dietary Advisor Millie here, helping bored cats everywhere with their dinner-related problems:

First take the quiz:

• Bored at the dinner table: could this be you?

• Sick of your everyday diet? 
• Tired of dry brown kibble and water? 
• Find that the endless repetition is getting you down?

• Not enough treats? 
• Think that humans don't understand a cat's needs for variety and excitement in her dinners?
• Finding heavy hints don't work?

• Can't find interesting substitutes in the larder?
• Fancy a venture now and then into the world of haute cuisine?

If you can mew "Yes!" to all of these questions, then it's time to take matters into your own paws, and put some zing into your dinners.

1. Go hunting. Organic free range is best, and the fresh air and exercise does you good too.

If this upsets the humans, be discreet - try a picnic outdoors, rather than bringing your catch home to share with the family. 

2. Ready meals are handy too.

A Scotch Egg is always tasty. Crumbs can be messy, so leave what you can't manage on the back step. Humans may step on it, but they won't howl in protest as they did with the fur-wrapped snack.

3. If you can't be bothered with cooked dinners, a raw diet can be healthy and natural. Chicken breasts are easy to find, and go down a treat. They are easily carried through the cat flap and if left half-eaten beside your dish, will help the human realise that her offerings of dull dried kibble compare disappointingly with plump glistening chicken flesh.

Remember: Always wash your paws after handling raw chicken. The taste is too good to waste.

So where do you find such delicacies?

Builders are always a good source of fast food. They keep their supplies in huge containers. These are convenient and easy to navigate; just hop in and have a good look round. You'll be surprised at the range of products they carry.

Students too are remarkably generous; they like to donate their excess food to the discerning cat  - I almost added "and dog" but we know that dogs are definitely not discerning - and are thoughtful enough to ensure we have easy access to the storage container. 

They also make sure they don't leave their gifts outside too close to dustbin-emptying day, because it would be such a waste to see good food thrown away in landfill.  

Remember it's in your paws: restrictive human rules can be worked around. All you need is enterprise, ingenuity, and imagination, and your uninteresting homely diet can become Michelin-starred. You just have to go for it!

Next week: How to look half-starved when visiting other people's houses: delicious new ways of supplementing your diet.