For some time, Tricia has been emailing me in that breathless way she has, full of dots, dashes and exclamation marks, to say how excited she is about my impending visit, and how hot ("blummin hot") it is in Canberra. So, rather pleased at the prospect of blummin hot weather, I have packed accordingly. Blummin vests and sandals. Today she emailed to say she had just come home from a barbecue (which, endearingly, she prefers to spell as bar-b-que) and to complain about how blummin cold it was. Cold! It was over 100 degrees F the other day!
So, I have had to demand an urgent interpretation of the word cold; does she mean I might need a cardi, or socks with my sandals, or a full re-pack of my case full of skimpy clothes? She is under orders to think like the Yorkshire woman she really is, and try to remember how a pallid, frozen Briton might experience the blummin cold of a very hot country. As there is a planned bar-b-que somewhere in the bush, I guess thermals and woolly gloves might not be needed, but you know, I'd prefer to go prepared. And ooh, the bush! That sounds exciting! Will I need bush clothes? What are they anyway? Are they warm?
PS Stop curling your lip like that. The socks with sandals thing was a joke.