Thursday, 14 October 2010

Word of the Week...

... is "Leave" or, more accurately, "LEAVE!" - uttered in a more commanding tone than I am accustomed to using. Sometimes a fierce tone, an authoritative roar, even, whilst charging across the grass towards an errant dog.


There are many crab apples lying in the grass at the end of the street, and Flossie favours the ones that are now rotting and fermenting.

Flossie chooses to be deaf when her mouth is full. Only apples and the toys stolen from other dogs causes this deafness.

I won't go into the reasons why I must discourage her from eating fermenting crab apples, but getting very, doggily, drunk is not one of them. Nor is the risk of her eating a wasp in the delicious mouthful that is hastily scrunched up before the black velvet ear hears the instruction to drop it. No, my caution is entirely selfish; I shall say no more, except for the words loose bowels.....

Windfall apples of every description seem to be everywhere in the parks, while the back lanes are full of badly-disposed-of student garbage bags containing all sorts of edible items in varying stages of decay. Flossie loves junk food, apparently; her insides do not.

Being short in the leg, with tummy so near to the grass, Tosca is also prone to receiving wasp stings at this time of year, so we have to watch where we walk, and I have to be on the alert in all directions at once.


And then there's the need to avoid being spotted by Lottie and Millie from their vantage point on the wall, and who try (often successfully) to follow us on our walks. With all these factors in play, an intended peaceful stroll with the dogs changes to a test of endurance, stealth, ingenuity and observational skill. For the average spectator fond of a bit of sport, it can be quite entertaining.

Watch how the dog lady in wellies dodges the bins, the apple trees, the busy stinging insects, the murky river, the stagnant, litter-filled pool, the mad husky dog with the temper control issues, the collie with the squeaky toy rugby ball, the tabby cat and the cars! See her grapple with a poo bag, a ball on a rope, a pocketful of treats, two leads, and a Yorkshire terrier who can't walk in a straight line! Marvel at her speed - surprising, given her build - as she heads off a labrador with two crabapples in its mouth and a furtive look in its eye! Guess how long it takes her to say "Sod this for a game of soldiers!" and turn back for home!


It was easier with the Lovely Son who was walking with us just a few days ago.

16 comments:

dinahmow said...

All we'd need is a commentary by Phil Drabble!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Drabble

BumbleVee said...

hahahhahah .... how I wish I lived on your block! What entertainment!

The workers across our street are almost finished with a big renovation project (which is our neighbour's house) ..so not very much entertainment anymore... nobody falling off the roof...no more chimneys collapsing... no more huge rubbish bins being dragged up onto huge truck..... quite dull really... I'd love to wait for you and the dogs...and cats sneaking along behind... .... what fun!

Kate on Clinton said...

You make it sound like such a charming adventure (well, except for the loose bowels)!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

But just think how useful you'd be on a commando raid !

frayedattheedge said...

Hilarious! I remember all too well the perils of loose bowels (the dog's not mine!) when I opened the door of the room in which they spent the night, to find that the spaniel had been somewhat unwell behind the door - now spread in a lovely arc on my pale silver carpet ...... ah, happy memories!!

judy in ky said...

It sounds a little like walking with a couple of toddlers!

jabblog said...

Sounds remarkably familiar except that in our case it's the Dalmatian that has to be headed away from delectable (to him) treats. It's a great life if you don't weaken (and you won't!)

Anonymous said...

Count your blessings for missing out on the miscellaneous deer parts that my lab so loves to bring home at this time of year--maggot-seething skull cavities her special treat

Marci

Susan said...

kisses to the tiny dog (and Flossie too of course) and that last photo is lovely & perfect in every way.

Lucille said...

I think the cats might be a help not a hindrance on the walk. Scooter is doing awfully well.

Pat said...

Thanks for reminding me why we no longer have animals. They do look adorable though:)

Rattling On said...

Our old lab has always had bowel 'issues'. The vet once gave her garlic tablets, supposedly excellent for the digestion. Explosively so. I had to tape newspaper all round the kitchen to waist height, and layer it on the floor. The dog wasn't in the least distressed, me more so.

the veg artist said...

So much for pet-owning being relaxing!!

Sue said...

I'm quite out of breath reading all that but think how alert and fit you'll be!!

C.S. said...

I have to be vigilant with my 2 small dogs on our walks too, they are quick to nab anything, even rancid stuff. As a side note, I read the other day that the reason dogs will eat nearly anything is that they are "scavengers" in the wild, whereas cats are NOT. Which explains why cats are finicky, and dogs...not so much!

elizabethm said...

Bound to lose weight though! Why do dogs love eating rotting and rancid things? It's a total mystery. Good luck. I would put my money on you and your authoritative voice in the long run.

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