Hello, it's us! She said that us cats could do a blog post! But she said we weren't to go on and on about mice and furry things on a string. We are supposed to tell you about our Christmas, and what a nice time we had. We think she exaggerated the nice time bit, but here goes.
Well, it was cold and snowy. We went out on the ice with the dog, such a feeble creature who needed encouragement all the way: "Come on, dog! You can do it; you won't slide down the hill! The alternative is to burst your bladder...." What a fuss she made about having cold feet!
We rather thought there would be twinkly lights and tinsel on our climbing frame, but She wouldn't allow it. She said one of us would eat it or be electrocuted.
We rather thought there would be very special dinners.
No, just same old same old.... we waited, but no special dinner appeared.
She said it was too early for special dinners; that would be tomorrow. She said she was sorry not to have explained that we don't get Christmas dinner before Christmas Day. We were disappointed.
Not good enough, we thought. All those promises, and still just kibble!
She lit lots of candles, but she wouldn't light the fire. She said one of us would singe our whiskers. I don't think she credits us with much intelligence.
She was a bit silly with the decorations.
But then it was Christmas Day, and what nice things we got! There was lots of wrapping paper and ribbons, with things inside that we let the humans have.
We made confetti.
It was slow, careful work.
Didn't Scooter do well? He's the champion confetti maker.
Millie liked the curly ribbons best. They put up such a fight!
James was a bit scared, so he stayed under the table for a while with a mouse. He's still a baby, and doesn't know about confetti or fighting curly string.
Lottie decided that the climbing frame should be decorated, and did it herself.
She instructed Millie to help.
And Millie helped. Millie would do anything for Lottie.
James donated his rosette.
The humans said they got some interesting things inside our paper and ribbon, but we thought they were disappointing. There are no recipes for field mice, rabbits or voles in this book! What a rip-off.
This would be a cosy scarf for us to sleep on, I suppose, with wool stitches to pull out with our nice sharp teeth.
They had books that made them laugh a lot. They wouldn't let us make book confetti.
But why aren't candles ever catnip-scented?
She got this from Australia. Apparently she moaned all the time she was there about not seeing a wombat. Ugly looking things, if you ask us. No decent whiskers at all.
All their other presents were boring. No mice, no string, no fishy treats, no feathery things. What strange things humans play with! Dishes, books, chocolate. Chocolate - yuk.
The dog was taken for a walk. She had to be carried for a bit - such a wimp! We think she's milking that bad leg story a bit.
The Human didn't want us to show you this photograph. Usually it's the dog who needs a haircut, but the human looks like a bag lady with that long straggly fringe. Unlike us, humans are hopeless at personal grooming.
Eventually it was special dinner time. We thought it was very nice, but there's none left to show you. We are promised more - a special dinner every day! We will believe it when we see it, but it's a nice thought, we suppose.
We hope your cats had a nice Christmas too. And your dogs, although we know they're generally freeloaders who never contribute to decorating and confetti-making. Now we're off to play with string and have afternoon naps......