Monday, 21 December 2009

Scared now!

Getting the hen horrors in Tesco: I have just been shopping (crunch crunch crunch over crisp snow sparkling in bright sunshine) and spotted the hugest, absolutely eNORmous free range chickens I've ever seen in my life. Those birds looked like they belonged to another age, or had been bred and trained as Special Forces combat chooks but had failed the final, crucial survival test. I didn't dare buy one. For one thing, I'd need a larger oven, a roasting tin the size of a zinc bath, and a chainsaw to carve. For another, even when dead, those chickens were just plain intimidating. Cowed, I tiptoed away and bought some spinach; that wouldn't be capable of rearing up and pecking my eyes out.

After finishing my unexciting shopping, I squelched back to the car through streams and pools of slush, the bright sunshine having worked its special magic on the crisp sparkling snow, and went home.

And observed that the cats and dog looked - well, just like dinky little canapes, elegantly bite-sized.


8 comments:

Linda said...

Us? Go out to hunt for food in Tesco on a day like this? Are you mad? That's why we train humans!

Ho,ho,ho.

Susan said...

Tres jealous of the Tesco shopping - thank goodness I can vicariously shop along with you at tesco.com and actually I think I'll take a quick spin through the M&S grocery aisles - marksandspencers.com - sighing

BumbleVee said...

yeh.... well, even if they are free range ...I'm sure they get a bowl of "hot" mash daily.... loaded with steroids.... chickens just don't get that big in real life...... just as well they scared the bejeepers outta you... who needs 'em?

We usually get a nice little one... very moist and tasty when roasted.... mmm... give me a little, young chicken any day... keeping my fingers crossed that they are not the 15 day old birds that have been fed growth hormones since they were eggs.... ick.... what are we eating some days anyway? no wonder we are just not healthy anymore.... pass the spinach please..oh, and did you make sure you washed it in a "mild bleach solution? ...good..... never know who or what touched that stuff....

rachel said...

I don't know why I look at the chickens, really. Ten seconds of looking is all that it takes to put me off. And it would be easy to get more and more neurotic about food by the day, except that starving myself isn't a favoured option....

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

"O.K. ... Weird lady just come into the room . Don't look , she's got a funny look in her eyes . I think they swapped ours at Tesco's . "
It's only Monday ....the rice , loo paper and tomato juice had run out . Woman in front of me was buying 15 vacuum-packed beetroot .
I probably looked crazed as well .
Good Will To All Men .

GooseBreeder said...

15 vacuum packed beetroots!Whow think of the soup!!So seasonal!
Big chickens huh? Bet they were White Leghorn roosters!If you were scared seeing them undressed you should see them dressed!Happy Christmas!

Fran Hill said...

I wonder whether your sweet little pets could read your mind while you were thinking about them as dinky canapes! Oh well, now you've had the thought, I guess if you run out of food before the shops open again ..

Isabelle said...

Oh, horrid thought!

Become a veggie. I recommend it.

I'm on holiday now!! Ho ho ho!!

Now, must go and make a shopping list...

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