Thursday 24 September 2009


I feel old and tired, and a bit sad, today. I don't know what's the matter with me.

Maybe I do; maybe it's to do with this little sweetie.

38 years ago, the Lovely Son was born.
It wasn't a joyful experience, and I had to wait a whole day, despite asking repeatedly "When can I see my baby?", before he was brought to me, and then only after a change of shift when the new staff realised that he should have been out of the nursery hours ago and in the arms of his young mother. I still fight feelings of bitterness towards the staff of that famous maternity hospital for their carelessness, and towards myself for not making a terrible scene, or at least being more assertive.

I feel older on this day than I ever do on my own birthday.

But I've been busy. I have labelled three little jars of elderberry jelly that I made yesterday.

I have been for acupuncture. No picture of me in my undies with needles stuck in me.... Be thankful.

I have shown the kitten where to eat with the big girls, out of reach of a certain greedy sneak-thief dog, and put the little step-stool in place for him to climb; he's too small to jump up yet.

Lottie likes to check on the kitten biscuits. I don't mind; she's not an enthusiastic eater, and I welcome her tucking into anything.

I have taken down the horrible cage. Lottie helped. Then she went for a lie down.

Her chair is next to mine, so that she can reach out and tap me when she wants my attention.
Such lovely big paws.

Millie is off duty too.

I have tidied up - again. Cats and kittens create as much mess with their hideously-coloured toys as toddlers do; tidiness is a fleeting phenomenon round here. The kitten is prowling; he is bored by the sleepiness of the girls, and will soon have those toys out of the basket and all over the house again.

After this mug of tea, I shall go out for a long, quiet walk with the dog, under the trees, whose leaves are just beginning to turn, and breathe the cool autumnal air. And that will be enough for today. After all, I have somehow, mysteriously, become old enough to have a 38-year-old child!


Linda said...

Cats and little dogs should be available on the NHS - more use in many cases.

Tea and a nice walk sound just the ticket!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

I was talking about the colours of eyes and hair with the preschoolers the other day . A couple were blond , one black-haired and I said "mine's grey ". one child looked at me and said firmly , "No , it's white " and I thought ....but I'm a '60s girl. And I'm not any more ....I'm in my 60s . Doesn't have the same ring somehow !!
Cheer up . Lovely Son might take you out for a meal .

rachel said...

Yes, Linda, they should!

Sadly, the Lovely Son is 300+ miles away, and at work....

But tea and fresh air are really miracle-workers!

Susan said...

We hope you and the dog have a lovely restorative walk in this early Autumn air. More perfect photos of Lottie and "our" Miss Millie.
Sending much love from les Gang

mountainear said...

Firstly I award you first prize for 'the cat with the fluffiest tail'.

Secondly - eldest here is a mere 32 and nobody thought to take any photographs for days and days or even weeks. I have moments of feeling ancient too. Especially around his birthday.

judy in ky said...

Old, tired, and a bit sad... that sounds familiar to me. Unfortunately for my waist, the only thing that cheers me up is chocolate!!

p.s. Millie and Lottie are both beautiful. And the little kitten is so charming!

Pam said...

Oh dear, sorry you're feeling these things. You're not old - how could you be, since you're just a bit older than I am? Also you don't look at all old unless you've aged a lot since our lunch in the summer.

I feel sad too. Our lovely younger daughter gets the keys to her flat tomorrow and will shortly be off and then I'll be distraught. Though happy for her.

My Farmhouse Kitchen said...

I have those days too. I think we all do.

Your kitty kats are so adorable...

I just love my 4 here..they sure are good best friends.

Take Care,

Liz said...

I know what you mean about the scary numbers but I hope the walk with the dog and the company those kitties did the trick.

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