Wednesday 16 September 2009

er, no.....

You can just stop it, all of you, big soppies that you are. He is NOT getting a name, and he is NOT being adopted by me, because he is NOT going to be a live version of my usual nine-day wonder story, in this case being a kitten fosterer. I could have a new career glittering in front of me, and I need to get past the probationer period! His future owner can name him.

Margery came today, to vacuum the house and spoil the cats with their weekly dose of lavish praise and one-sided conversation. The kitten had at least five names tried on him before she left: Socks, Smudge, Sooty, and so on. Sooty is rather apt today - the Berlin Wall in the fireplace wasn't impregnable after all, and he got into the chimney while my back was turned, but fortunately only as far as a little ledge within grabbing reach. He was very relieved to be rescued, and I was relieved too, and ashamed to have let this happen. I am a kitten-neglecter....

But he isn't a Millie, the cat who likes to wash for a hobby, and I fear his sooty, cat-littery paws will need me to apply a wet flannel later on. Mr Filthy Feet can be added to the list of names he might have had.

But he has had several deliriously-happy, galloping, ducking, diving, pouncing football sessions in the sitting room when only the dog and I are present. He greets the dog with little cries and an eager upright tail; she, meantime, too dim to understand that she could be kitten-snuggler of the year, looks embarrassed and gets up on her high cushion, fast.

If it wasn't for Millie, who is still exuding ill-feeling, although not quite so often or so vociferously, he could be left out for much of the day. But I daren't risk it; try explaining to PARRT that one of their graduates has slaughtered and devoured one of their babies! I'd be struck off, and Millie would have a criminal record. Kitticide. Cattibalism.

Which reminds me - I heard a woman this morning, in a back yard across from mine, saying crossly "Shoo! Go on, f*** off!" and I just knew.... so I called, bracing myself for neighbourly hostility, and right enough, over the wall popped a certain tabby. ASBO Millie. We slunk indoors quietly and shut the back door before we could be tracked down and shouted at some more.

Later, we all gathered round the kitten's cage like carol singers at some poor housebound person's door (how I hate that cage!) and they all ate morsels of chicken together, quite harmoniously. The kitten thought he'd gone to heaven. Not that he'd be allowed in - at least not without wiping his feet.


Linda said...

So. "He Who Shall Be Nameless MkI" it is then.
We are all waiting to know how you will vet those who come to see him with a view to kittie adoption.
Will they pass? Will they be good enough? Will they spoil him?
Presumably you were vetted for this job? How did you manage a good score on the 'hardness-of-heart' question? Thought so!

Susan said...

And what a fantastic foster mother you are and will continue to be. I do hear what you're saying your job is to get them ready for their new home. You are the transition spot between life on the streets and a new life in a happy loving home.

Laughed out loud at the bit about the dog and her pillow. She's sweet & very tiny.

Keep up the excellent work & love.

Oliver thinks that there's too much kitten and not enough Millie and we both wait with bated breath for the first face to face - with hopes of course that they'll get along fabulously for the duration of "the kitten's" visit.

xo les Gang

rachel said...

Very funny, Linda. And true. Thankfully, all I do is look after and hand over (with lots in between, of course!) but PARRT finds a home and Ann vets it - and is very strict about who gets accepted. I had Mad but Good Enough Cat Lady stamped all over me the day she vetted me, so we spent most of the visit discussing paint charts and what colours I had on my walls!

Susan, photos of the Grand Introductory Play Session will be posted shortly.

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